he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
