i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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