I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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