I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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