grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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