She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
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I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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