Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
