Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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