Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
