My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
