just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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