whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
