Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
