Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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