HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
