I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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