Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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