My hair reeks of homosexuality.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
