he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
