I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize