There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
