ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
