I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
