My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
