Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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