I wish I only lived at night.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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