Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
