he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
