I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
