U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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