New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
