worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
