woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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