Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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