Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
