The maid of honor just puked.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Randomize
