And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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