I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
