No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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