I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
