Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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