I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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