i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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