if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
did i walk over a car last night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
