I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This toilet bowl is my home.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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