Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
