Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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