i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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