Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
