I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i barfeds in our rink
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
