I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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