no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
