Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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