I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
COCAINE IS GR8
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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