Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
