can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
