Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
