What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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