You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
