Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
